


Holi Color Powder House

by Valentine_Surlaint



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Art Accident - Freeform, Free Company - Freeform, Gen, Humor, Magical Accidents, Never trust a pixie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24359167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valentine_Surlaint/pseuds/Valentine_Surlaint
Summary: In Eorzea, anything can happen. In fairness to Shara and Robyn, they hadn't anticipated that the Free Company's combat training dummies were stuffed with Il Mheg reed primed to prank anyone who hit it with Astral and Umbral magic.
Kudos: 1





	Holi Color Powder House

**Author's Note:**

> Done for the prompts; "Make the absurd absolutely and completely normal", AND “You had the greenest grass around. No one could have greener grass. Right...?”
> 
> I do not own SE, or the following characters; Kaye, Sparrow, Ophelia, or Leon. I do own Courland, Shara and Robyn.  
> Meteor is the "Default Midlander Hyur Warrior of Light".

There were a great many benefits of the housing plots that the Grand Companies provided for the variety of adventurers and guilds who sought to own land, to make a home that was safely guarded from any enemies instead of relying upon tents and inns along the road for the rest of their lives.

There was also the downside of absurd actions being taken and that was no different in the Lavender Beds. With so many powerful and eccentric personalities distributed around the Ward, it was unexpected but not a surprise as people… Customize their homes.

Either by accident or on purpose, no one could deny that the Free Company occupying the center of the Ward was filled with an eclectic collection of oddities. Pirates, gang members, hermits, mages, knights, nobility, cobblers; they were in high demand for their wide variety to say the least. 

Their yard was walled in by a thick stone fence, the medium sized manor taking the majority of the eye styled in a sort of Hingan architecture with the layered terracotta roof tiles, a soft red in color. There was an outdoor brick furnace that disguised itself as an art sculpture of a moving Namazu, with their stables nearby and an outdoor bathing area and seating porch. It was perhaps the most normal part of the Company house prior to that moment, seeing as there was a congregation happening and the eastern half was completely coated from roof to lawn in some kind of paint.

“What in the name of the Twelve do you _mean_? You accidentally turned our lawn _neon_?!” 

The imperator, as she was self stylized, was assisted in admonishing the culprits in question by Courland and Kaye who were, helpfully, holding up one of the resident Thaumaturges and an Astrologian each, Courland suspending the star-studying Miqo’te by the back of his leather jacket’s neck, and Kaye with a hand under each arm dangling the Hyurian woman several films above the, now neon lime green, lawn and paving stones.

“J-Just that! I mean-” the woman began, tucking in on herself while her face burned brighter than the rolanberries they grew in the garden near the stables. “R-Robyn and I were testing out s-spells on the training dummies and then _bam_!”

“Flash of light and well, _green_ , all over me and Shara.”

It was clearly not just a spell since the fronts of both Robyn and Shara were the exact same shade of neon green as the rest of the grass, so it was fairly presumptuous that it was some kind of reactant to the spell. A powder or some kind of aetheric stain.

Either way it was an eyesore.

“You will fix my front lawn and everything that was stained by this damned, _green_ , bullshit, or I will cover it up with your blood!”

“Y-Yes Imperator!” It was amusing to see the two of them salute while at least three fulms above the ground just to meet Ophelia’s masked eyes but the point was made.

“What the fuck even is this shit, it’s clearly material.”

Robyn helpfully spoke up, looking at himself while rubbing his palms together, “It _feels_ like a powder, a little thinner and less sticky than pollen but it’s far too bright to not be a pigment of some sort. Considering my training in Scholarly arts and Astrology’s ‘star explosions’ my best guess is some kind of Astral Aetheric pollen or paint.”

“Sparrow that isn’t an invitation to test what it is by licking the wall.” Courland said with a scowl, turning his head to look at the dark haired Miqo’te.

“I wasn’t going to _lick_ the _wall_.” He whined in response, nails clacking against the stonewall of the house, thin trickling trails of the pigment scratched off in the thin scores left by the lengthy claws.

“You can’t _lick_ either of us either.” Shara deadpans, arms folding while glaring at the golden eyed Miqo’te off to the side who had swiped a finger through the ‘green bullshit’.

Eyes were rolled and the dancer gave her a teasing _tsk_ , “Damn there goes my evening plans.”

“I would have slaughtered you all if I came back to find a trail of green leading to my bedroom.” Courland deadpanned, “Would have helped our Imperator paint the house barn red with your blood if it was in my bed too.”

“Can you put us down now? We need to… Figure out what the ‘Green Bullshit’ actually is…” Robyn asks, sighing as he looked at the ‘devastation’ that was wrought by the explosion on the eastern half of the yard. He might just power wash it but what if the green substance was a fertilizer or something? Gods forfend if it is and they cause an algae resurgence in the lake bed at the bottom of the hill just because he got lazy.

“Courland; if it isn’t too much to ask, would you be a dear and keep an eye on them until I convince our resident Grandmother-dearest to take a post on the porch? Just to make sure Robyn doesn’t run away on that motorcycle of his?”

“He can only run.” Leon helpfully said from where he was avoiding stepping on the grass at the entry arch. “The… Stuff hit his Fenrir, if it isn’t clogging the engine, it would leave a trail for us to follow unless he ditched the bike…”

“In which case he would still leave a trail like a little cat-slug.” Ophelia helpfully tacked on with a decisive nod. “It’s settled then, you have until tomorrow morning.”

“Won’t even consider giving us the full week?” Shara asked, eyes going pin-prick tiny, “Wh-What if we made some kind of super-pollen? We can’t just wash it out! What if we scum up the ponds?”

“You are a Sharlayan mage and he is a jack of all trades mage. I’ll judge it further in the morn.”

“You’re a slave driver, see if I dance on tables for you ever again.” Robyn says grouchily until Courland abruptly lets go of his jacket. Robyn yelped as he collided with the grass and a cloud of green dust erupted around him. Like a dust bathing chinchilla or something, rolling in green chalk and not refined powdered sand. 

Kaye is a little nicer about it, lowering the Sharlayan girl till she put her boots on the ground but it still kicks up the thin powder that lingers in the air like desert dust under a chocobo’s stride.

It took _hours_ but Robyn and Shara were happy to conclude what the substance was, not that anyone was pleased by it when morning came and they found the yard still coated in the substance.

“It’s powdered pigment and we were devising how to _collect_ it because if we can re-purpose all this, we make a fortune off of neon powder paint that they use in Eulmore for their neon pigments.” Is what Shara greeted them with instead of her usual hum that translated to “ _Good morning._ ” 

She was still covered in the green pigment, as was Robyn, but they had filled jars with the powder, not that it made a dent in how chaotic the mess still looked.

But, ah, yes, the best way to the Imperator’s heart. 

Profiting off of random bullshit and bribery.

“If the Senate will be given the entire profit from the pigment, I’ll pretend you didn’t catastrophically fuck up my lawn.”

“Deal.” Shara and Robyn replied in unison far faster than anticipated.

“What even made the pigment though?”

“The dummies were stuffed with Il Mheg reed, used by the pixies to make green dye.” Robyn says, smirking, “Whomever put together these ones however must have taken them from a pixie since they were triggered by attack. I.e. a pixie trapped our training dummies to explode into paint either by my magic or Shara’s.”

“Ah, I’ll have to have a word with Meteor then.” Ophelia says, “Warn him against buying anything from a pixie… Again.”

“For now though, we get to reap the benefits of fae pigment.”

“You mean _Ophelia_ gets to reap the benefits.”

“Actually.” Ophelia caught their attention, “Why don’t we forego the _profit_ and get back at Meteor after I have a chat with him? I’m sure he would _love_ being dyed green.”

“At least it’s not Courland we’re targeting… He would _murder_ you for that, Imperator or not.” Robyn replied. Said Elezen man was scowling in the background, listening to their conversation while scratching the long neck of his soft pink chocobo in the stables.

“And that Meteor has a decent sense of humor.” Shara tacked on.


End file.
